my last blog post described last weekend's trip to tel aviv and jaffa. what i did not mention was that the trip was cut short.
when planning the trip, we had originally intended to spend the weekend in tel aviv, then travel to jerusalem to spend monday and tuesday- the holiday of simchat torah- in the Old City. this being my first time in Jerusalem, i was overjoyed at the chance to celebrate simchat torah, one of the most joyous of all jewish holidays, in the holiest city in the world.
this all changed on saturday evening, when news broke of the stabbing murder of two Jewish men by a young palestinian. the murder occurred in the kotel, which is the area of the Old City surrounding the western wall and the temple mount. this crime was an escalation of weeks of Palestinian protests in Jerusalem decrying Jewish settlements in the West Bank and East Jerusalem. Saturday night saw yet another stabbing, this time of a fifteen year old boy, also in Jerusalem.
my program gathered as a group and discussed our next move. we had planned the jerusalem trip with knowledge of the protests, and assured our program director and staff that we would use caution in the kotel. but this.. was something different. terrorist attacks were being carried out towards jews in the very area in which we were staying. what were we to do?
this decision hit me hard. really hard. i moved to israel with an understanding of its unique challenges, yet with confidence that i would be safe. i still feel that way- i am safe and do not regret moving to this country.
and yet. i have spent my entire life in a position of privilege, largely due to my appearance, my socioeconomic background, and the fact that i have always lived among jews. until saturday, i had no idea what it was like to feel vulnerable. to feel attacked. to truly fear, just because of who i was. is this what jews go through here? arabs? ethiopians? and in the states... minorities? immigrants? people who are poor, disabled, or just different?
if i avoided the Old City in pursuit of my own safety...would it be a de facto denunciation of the importance of this holiday, or my jewish identity? would it give this terrorist what he wanted- to cultivate fear, undermine peace, and threaten religious observance? or would that give too much credit to an act of cruel, senseless violence that was just that: pointless?
to both questions, my answer is no. i have been in israel two weeks, but by now i have learned that very few things occur in this country without cause. after decades of contention, every move, from a civilian to politician to terrorist, is carefully calculated to either protect or harm. to make this decision, i had to understand that however random this act of violence appeared, it was preceded by a very powerful history of conflict. and that no matter how much i tried to distance myself from this most divisive issue-- by living in a mixed city, by working alongside both Arabs and Jews without 'getting political'-- simply being here demands constant consideration of outcomes.
so yes, changing my travel plans may submit to the reprehensible wishes of this terrorist. but doing so gives what is, in my opinion, necessary deference to the realities of this country. that bad things happen, and when they do, we must pay attention to the reasons why they did. that while this act of violence may have been senseless, it was born out of a position of defiance, inferiority, and hate that has been present and growing for decades. to be clear: murder of innocents on either side is never acceptable. but every murder demands examination into its roots, and acts of terrorism are no different. i've only been here a short time- i can't begin to understand how these things play out. but i believe that by avoiding the Old City, i took a cautious step away from something i am wholly unfamiliar with, with a wish to understand more as these nine months proceed.
some of our group went home, and five of my roommates went ahead with the original plans. they are home safe, and we are grateful for it. we will continue to monitor violence in Jerusalem and elsewhere, as every resident of Israel does. i keep reminding myself that despite the perceived risks, this is why i am here: to learn, to understand, and ultimately to contribute to a more peaceful and tolerant nation.